Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
