plz talk dirty to me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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