U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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