butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
