So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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