I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
