i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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