Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize