I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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