Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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