There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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