I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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