He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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