This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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