Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
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I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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