Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
