I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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