Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
