And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
