i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
