Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
