Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
