I just saw a hot homeless man
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
