The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize