Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
