Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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