I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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