i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
