If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
