Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize