How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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