Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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