I just pynch a tree in the face
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
