as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
