fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize