We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
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The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
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It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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