I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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