we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
