I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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