I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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