why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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