And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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