new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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