We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
