Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
