Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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