What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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