Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
