Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
