Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
