Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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