I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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