New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
