She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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