I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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