Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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