i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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