we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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