Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
