Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
