i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
