i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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