i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
