I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
