you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
