so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
