Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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